I was on my last run. Another day of delivering pizza’s for the pizzeria. Here was the address. I walked up to the building and knocked on the door. Then right after I knocked on the door it mysteriously opened. I said to no one “man that was sketchy.” I walked upstairs and I saw these four giant tubes, these weird things that were glowing blue. I was baffled until I hit my head on an aluminum sign. After shaking my head from the hit, I read the sign: Cryogenic Chambers. “Wow” I spoke aloud as a rat scurried a foot away from me. “I wonder…?” I stepped in front of a chamber, I thought to myself “why not? Nothing is going for you might as well; I got no friends and no money. Heck, I would even take a robot for a friend.” There was a timer on the front and above it read: Timer. I spun the timer with all my might to a year and walked in, I suddenly felt a liquid rush against my skin, then it went down my throat and into my stomach, I felt trapped, and there was no way out. I couldn’t move my arms and legs. Then in felt like I got punched in the face and everything went black.
I felt warm, I felt sunlight on my face, and it seemed like that hadn’t happened in hundreds of years. Then the door to the chamber opened and a robot was just outside the door in a gorilla mask, he spoke “Welcome to Earth, ruled by monkeys, you must follow our primate rules or you will be eaten alive!” “Oh, ha ha ha, ya right, you are just a robot with a mask,” I said. “Come on its gotten everyone since I got this job,” He said as he took off the mask.
“So this is earth, its changed a lot since I was here in 2008,” I said as we roamed around
Mark and I just stared at her in awe. “Well, umm, so can you take out twenty dollars for me please?” I asked as my voice stammered. We walked out of the bank after the transaction and went to a nearby restaurant. As we waited for my food I asked Mark,” Would you want to live with me, and be my best friend?” He replied “Sure, I mean you’re rich, and you’re the only human friend I have, I would be honored to be a burden to your money.” I smiled and we ate lunch in silence.
We strolled back over to the bank and stepped in front of the same window, with the same Cyclops. “Hello, I was hoping I could take out about 4 billion dollars and put the rest to the best bank in
Later that week we bought the biggest house in
4 comments:
Kind of a random story there, copying the concept of Futurama, kind of. It really didn't have much of a plot, if any. Those were my first reactions. Your main character doesn't change at all. Covered that one.
My favorite part was with the dead half bird, half cat thing, it gave me a quick chuckle. No offense, whatsoever, I really don't know the tale's best quality. You're really good at making spoofs, which make a lot of people laugh. Great job with that. Work on the plot more, because it really didn't pull me in that much.
nice job garrett. This story was kind of random, and I thought it was ok. It's definately different than any of the others that I've read so far.The main character definately changed throughout the story, because he went to the future, and finally got some friends.that was also my favorite part of the story, because the main character finally gets some friends. one thing that I would suggest would to have the characters to get to know the other charactersbetter. at one part of the story, the main character meets a robot, then right after, asks if they want to live together. There should be more between those two parts. other than that, good job.
Ya it is kind of random, but it is very funny. I like how, unlike most other essays, it is told from a first person view. I don't think the main character changed much in this story or, if he did, not enough information was given about him in the beginning for a comparison. I think he didn't change because there was no reason to. My favorite part of the story was at the end when "...we all lived happily ever after...". Next time, try making the general conflict a little more apparent and go over the usual spelling/ grammar. other then that, I think it was good.
this was a wierd story but i thought it was good. you used a lot of dialoge but not much description.
my favorite part was when matt gave the teller a million dollars. the main character changed from having nothing to having a wife friends and money.
i think the best part of this story would have to be the dialoge. it helped the story out so much and added to the plot. even though the conflict was resolved quickly.
overall it was a good story. good job garret.
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