Thursday, January 31, 2008

Chasing Summer by Brianna T.


As the sunlight shined down into the streaky window of an old red pick-up, it temporarily blinded a brown haired girl in the passenger seat. As she rose her hand to cover her dark blue eyes, a quiet voice said, “What a beautiful, sunny day.” The girl turned away from the blinding sun and looked at the woman in the driver’s seat. “Yeah it is a nice day, and it would be an even better day in Rhode Island.” The girl said sharply. “Mom, I can’t believe you’re making me do this! I mean I’m supposed to be in Rhode Island with my friends!” “Now Summer, we already had this talk, and don’t get fresh with me.” The woman said sternly. “You’re going to stay with you Grandmother and that’s final. Besides, you used to love going to visit her when you were young.” “Mom I’m sixteen years old, I don’t wanna spend my summer with my grandma, and I’m sure she doesn’t wanna spend hers with me.” “Now Summer, why would you say something like that?” the mother said as she turned towards her daughter, taking her eye off the empty road for only a second. “Because Mom, ever since dad di…” She stopped and her voice got quiet and soft, “Ever since dad passed away she hasn’t spoken to us, no phone calls, no letters or emails, not even a single birthday card.” Summer finished.

The rickety old truck slowly turned into a narrow driveway that lead up to a small beach cottage. The cottage was light yellow with blue shutters, and under each and every window was a black flower box with tiny white and pink flowers. A tiny, plump woman was standing in the doorway waving to them. “Hello Rose,” Summer’s mom said as she pulled the suitcases out of the back of the pick-up. “Why hello Lillian, and hello my dear,” she said as she hugged them both. “Hi Grandma,” Summer said. There was sternness in her voice, for she could not hide her feelings of abandonment towards her Grandma.

Rose took them into her quaint little home, and led them into two guest bedrooms that were across from each other. She gave Summer the room on the left. As she opened the door she gasped. This was the room she stayed in when she visited all those years. The walls were light pink and had white bunnies that bordered the ceiling. The twin bed was pushed up against the wall next to the window with the perfect ocean view. The bed was already made with pink sheets and a white and pink checkered comforter. Also in the room was a dresser, a mirror, a closet and nightstand with a small digital clock. “Will this do?” Rose asked. “Yes,” Summer replied, there was still a sternness in her voice. “Okay, I’ll go check on your mom.” Rose said as she left, shutting the door behind her. Summer sat down on the bed and sighed. The room brought back so many memories of her and her dad and the summers she use to spend here. Summer didn’t want to remember, so she grabbed a towel and walked out the back door to the beach.

The sun was already starting to set. She gazed towards the horizon admiring what seemed to be the last trace of color on earth. The waves crashed against the shore in such a way that their rhythm and sound made Summer feel as if she was in a different place in a different world. Summer’s trance was broken when something hit her back. “Hey, sorry” a voice said from behind her. She turned around and was face to face with a tanned, brown haired boy, with the biggest, brownest eyes she had ever seen. The boy stood up, and revealed a young golden retriever. He put out his hand and helped her up. “Hi, I’m Chase.” he said in a cheerful voice, his eyes never left hers. “Hi, I’m Summer,” Summer replied. The dog barked and Chase picked up the sandy tennis ball and threw it in the opposite direction. Summer watched as the dog bounded after it. Chase turned back to her and then looked at the tattered brown watch, on his wrist. “Wanna go for a walk?” His voice broke the silence. As Summer’s heart raced with feelings of excitement and curiousness she answered, “Sure.”

As they walked along the shore, the waves crashed towards their feet as if trying to sweep them away. “So, are you new around here?” Chase asked, “cause I’ve never seen you before.” “Um,” Summer started, “I’m visiting Rose with my mom.” Puzzled, Chase asked “Who’s Rose?” Summer looked at the dog who was chasing the seagulls down the beach. Then she answered, “My grandma.”

Right then and there Summer spilled everything. How her dad died, and how her friends and her were supposed to go to Rhode Island, and even about her grandmother and how she had stopped communicating. When Summer was finished she was in shock. She covered her mouth as she thought “why did I tell him that, I’ve never told anyone that.” Chase grasped her hand and said nothing, but for Summer, that said everything.

They stopped when they reached the cottage. Summer said bye and tried to let go of his hand, but he pulled her back. “Meet me out here at 11,” he said, “I’ll be here waiting.” “I don’t know if I can…”Summer started. “I’ll be here, if you decide to come or not,” Chase said cutting her off. “Okay,” Summer said softly, then she walked back up to the cottage.

When Summer reached the cottage she went into the kitchen. She grabbed a glass from the cabinet, and pored herself some water as she hummed a happy tune. “Who is he?” a voice came from the right. Startled, Summer looked over to the kitchen table, and there sat her grandma, sipping tea out of a rose covered teacup. “What are you talking about?” Summer said. “Summer, I’ve been around long enough; I think I know when a girl meets a guy.” Rose said with a giggle, “So what’s his name?” “Chase, and why do you care?” Summer said louder than needed. Shocked her grandma leaned back and looked away, and then said, “I know you’re mad at me.” Summer put down the glass of water on the counter. Her grandma continued. “You’re mad at me because I never spoke to you after your father died.” Summer’s eyes grew wet, “How could you grandma?, you really hurt me, you were like my favorite person alive, and then you just stopped talking to me and at a time when I really needed you.” Summer burst into tears. “I know I know I was wrong, but you don’t understand I wanted to see you but I just couldn’t.” Now even her grandma was tearing up. ”Why couldn’t you?” Summer questioned. “Because every time I looked at you, you reminded me so much of your father, and I missed him so much. Losing a son is the hardest thing in the world, and now I’m afraid that I’ve lost you.” A felling of guilt came over Summer. She got up and went over to her grandma and gave her the biggest hug and said, “You will never lose me.”

After she and her grandma calmed down, Summer told her everything her grandma had missed out on. She even told her about Chase. She told her about how cute he was, and their walk on the beach, and even how he said he wanted to meet her at 11. “So are you going?” her grandma asked. “I don’t know,” Summer said softly. “Well what are you waiting for?” her grandma said looking at the clock on the stove, it was 10:59. “Go,” her grandma said, “go.”

Summer ran out the back door. The cool ocean breeze blew on her face as she walked in the sand. It was dark, but the moonlight showed her a figure. It was Chase. “Well, here I am” she said as she stopped in front of him. “I have a surprise for you, so close your eyes.” Chase said as he grabbed her hand. Summer did as she was told, “and no peeking,” he said with a laugh. As he guided her along the beach, her mind raced with ideas of what the surprise was going to be. They stopped. “Open your eyes” Chase said. Summer opened them and gasped. The surprise was better than anything she thought it was going to be. Laid out before her was a blanket, with candles all around it, and in the center was a picnic basket filled with snacks and drinks. Summer looked back over her shoulder, at the cottage, and secretly thanked her grandma for telling her to come.

As they ate the food they talked and laughed. Summer felt as if she had known Chase forever. The waves swept against the shore as they sat in each other arms underneath the starry sky. As they gazed into space, Chase did the unexpected. He turned and looked at Summer, and said, “Summer you shine brighter than the stars in the sky.” He leaned in and gave her a kiss.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Brie!
I loved your story. I thought it was so cute. I loved the imagery you gave of the beach. You did a good job of describing the events in detail.
Your main character did change over the course of the story. She realized how hard it was for her grandma after her father died, and learned to forgive her. This was important to the story because if she had not forgiven her, she would have never met up with Chase for the picnic.
My favorite part of the story was in the resolution when Chase and Summer are together, and Summer is finally happy. "Summer felt as if she had known Chase forever. The waves swept against the shore as they sat in each other arms underneath the starry sky." This line was perfect for the time and had a good effect on the mood.
I think this story's best quality is the character Summer. You gave a lot of information about her and we saw how she changed throughout the story. I could always tell her emotions.
I thought that this piece was really well-written, and the only thing I found wrong were minor typos or spelling mistakes. So thats the only thing I would fix. Good job!!

Anonymous said...

hey brie,
Your story was so cute! It really put me in a good mood after reading about seven stories envolving a death! I thought the beach scene at the end was really good. It was really well described and intresting. The main character definately change in your story. She was really mad at her grandma, but she learned to listen to her side of the story and she realized it was really tough on her grandma. My favorite part was meeting Chase because it really seemed to help her calm down. I thought you picked good word choice and described the settings really well. The only question I have is how the father died. Otherwise, you did a great job!

Anonymous said...

Brie,
Wow, your story was so cute. You gave such good description and the dialogue was realistic and natural. The story made me wish that it was summer here. The main character did change during the story. She went from being angry with her grandmother to realizing how hard it had been for her and forgiving her. My favorite part was the ending, it was happy. "Chase did the unexpected. He turned and looked at Summer, and said, “Summer you shine brighter than the stars in the sky.” He leaned in and gave her a kiss." It was the perfect ending. I think the best quality was your description of the characters and the setting. One question I have, even though it didn't matter for the story, was how did the dad die? Anyway nice job!

Anonymous said...

Brie,
Your story was really good! I liked how you kind of told two stories in one. You told about Summer how she was mad at her grandma, and you also told about how Summer falls in love. In the beginning Summer was mad at her grandmother, but after talking it out her grandmother says she should go meet the boy who she ends up kissing.
My favorite part of the story was when she forgives her grandmother and feels guilty for being mean. “I’m afraid that I’ve lost you.” A felling of guilt came over Summer. She got up and went over to her grandma and gave her the biggest hug and said, “You will never lose me.” This was my favorite part because she goes from being mad to feeling guilty. The best quality of the story was the description in the beginning. Great job!

Anonymous said...

BRIANNNAA!
Your story was really good! VERY CUTE. I liked how you kind of told two stories in one. You told about Summer how she was mad at her grandma, and you also told about how Summer falls in love. In the beginning Summer was mad at her grandmother, but after talking it out her grandmother says she should go meet the boy who she ends up kissing.
My favorite part of the story was when she forgives her grandmother and feels guilty for being mean. “I’m afraid that I’ve lost you.” A felling of guilt came over Summer. She got up and went over to her grandma and gave her the biggest hug and said, “You will never lose me.” This was my favorite part because she goes from being mad to feeling guilty. The best quality of the story was the description in the beginning. Great job!

Anonymous said...

Hey Brie
I thought that your story was amazing, just like you said it would be. I think that the best part of you story was the description you gave of the beach. I think that it was really well written and it just made the story that much better.
I think that Summer changed a lot as a person throughtout the story. The main thing that she was able to change was that she was able to forgiver her grandmother. I think that, that was one of the best parts in your story.
I though that your story was amazing and the only thing wrong with it was a couple spelling mistakes but I still loved it.

Anonymous said...

Brie,
Oh my gosh, your story was so good! After I was done reading it, I felt so happy. I love it how you started off the story a little bit sad, and by the end, it was a love story. The image that I remember most is the candlelight snack on the beach with the waves crashing beside them. It is so romantic! I think that the main character does go through a change over the story because in the beginning, I think she was mad about having to stay with her grandma, but at the end, she was so happy because she met Chase and mend her relationship with her grandma.
My favorite part of the story was the ending. “Summer you shine brighter than the stars in the sky.” He leaned in and gave her a kiss. Oh my gosh, that line is so cute! I also love how much detail you gave all of your sentences and characters. Overall, your stories strongest point was the plot. I absolutely loved the story line. The only thing to remember for next time is that each time a new person speaks they get a new paragraph. But, like I said, your story was fantastic and I loved it. Awesome job : )