2:12 PM
Mr. B-G
Dear Mom,
If you're reading this, then I guess I’ve gone to the better place. I obviously wouldn’t need to write this letter if I thought I was going to live through this ordeal. I'm writing this so you know what happened to me and Dad tonight. Yes, I know that hospital workers will tell you about the car crash, but they always soften things up for the victims’ families. You know that even better than I do, and I think you deserve to know what happened.
You know that Dad and I went to see that movie in
I was talking to the E.M.T.’s and they say that I’ll be fine, but you and I both know they were just trying to make me feel better, especially in the ambulance. I suppose they would feel really badly if I don’t live all the way to the hospital. But don’t you hate it when people lie like that? They don’t think I should write this, but screw them, because if I don’t then I couldn’t say some things I need to say. I want you to donate all my money to an animal charity. I don’t care which. You’re a good judge of character and I know you will choose a good one. Donate most of my book to that free book exchange thing we read about in the newspaper a few months ago.
Give the rest to whom ever you think would enjoy them. I want you to give my stuffed animals to any children with cancer or whatever in the Shriner’s hospital. I want you to keep training Fidelco dogs, for as long as you can anyway. I’d like it if you kept the boys until they pass on, but I know you’re not, and have never been, a big fan of my smelly guinea pigs, so I guess it’s not that big a deal. I want to be cremated, but I want you to burn my band sweatshirt with me. I want you to take off the personalization on my band jacket and give it to a homeless person. You pick which city or whatever. I trust you will deal with my guitars. Oh! Maybe Neil would like the nice new one you gave me for Christmas. He did say it was one of the best you could have gotten. Do whatever with the sub par guitar. Make sure to return my tuba to Mr. Wardwell. Give my videogames and systems to Aiden. I know he wants them. Other than that, do whatever with my stuff. You know what to do with junk like that better than I do anyway.
I’m sorry that I never talked to you when you asked me what was wrong. I’m sorry I never introduced you to any of the boys I dated. I’m sorry that I didn’t do what you told me to do the first time. I’m sorry I stopped caring about what you and everyone else thought of me. I’m sorry I didn’t take what I was given and was thankful for it. I never thought I would have to say these things, but I also thought I would outlive you. I’m sorry that I fought with Aiden so much. I’m sorry that I could never be as tolerant as you when it came to other people who couldn’t do as much as Aimie and I could. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be everything you wanted, and needed, me to be.
Tell Mat and any other nephews or nieces I get that I’m sorry I wasn’t around long enough to talk with them and teach them the random stuff I think everyone should know. Make sure they all learn to read fast. Get them Harry Potter and I’m sure any of the girl’s that Aimie is going to have would love some Tamora Pierce. Tell Joe that I’m sorry we never really had a relationship. There were times I really wish he had been there for me and it took everything I had to keep it together, but I still think he is the coolest brother a kid could ever have. You already know what I want you to tell Heather. The E.M.T.’s are starting to freak out. I think I’m leaving, and we haven’t even gotten to the hospital yet. Oh well. Death will be a nice release from the excruciating pain I’ve been in for the past, oh I don’t know, eternity. Hold on for me, Mom. I’ve got to go now. I promise I’ll meet you up there. You still have to introduce me to Grandpa Joe.
Bye, Mom.
35 comments:
Libby, I thought your story was extremely good. It was really really deep and kind of left me thinking about things. It really makes you think about death and things you'd like to say to a person before you die.
I really liked the formatting of the story. Because it was a letter it really made everything have much more meaning.
My favorite part of the story was probably the describing what happened with the accident because it was really descriptive and kept me on the edge of my seat.
I think the stories best quality is how personal it was because without that I think that it wouldn't have as much depth or meaning to it.
I really don't think I could give you any advice to change anything because it was very well written and very descriptive.
Great job!
Dear Libby,
God I feel as though I'm starting your story all over again. First off I would like to applaud you for making me cry just with a short story.This was one of the most touching, sadest, deepest stories I have ever read.As Lindsey said it really gets you thinking about death. It makes me think about what my last words would be in any death situation.
There is nothing to fix, at all. You used great detail, and made me feel as though you really were writting to your mother, dead.
My favorite part of your story when you begin talking about all the things you couldn't be for your mother and the other people in your life. This story was very well written, and I loved every moment of it. Thank you for making such a touching story!
Amazing work Libby.
Libby, I didn't cry like Casey did, but I thought it was a really touching story. It got me thinking about how short life is and we shouldn't put something off because you could die the next day. You used so much detail and you made me feel like i was in the car and the ambulance with you. Overall, a very descriptive and touching story all around.
Dear Libby,
Wow.This was really amazing. You drew me into this letter so much I felt as though I was the mother receiving it. I actually wanted to cry. I could just picture you writing the letter in the ambulance. This story made me think of the things I would want to say to the people I loved before I died. I think the character stayed the same personality through the whole story. Even though she was hurting I felt as though she was trying to make the letter as easy to take in as possible and you could just hear the voice of the narrator. The idea of the story was really strong and original and I loved it. You have a tremendously great writing style, and I'm always so excited to read your writing. I love the description you used when the letter was being written but you tied in what was going on while the letter was being written. This was amazing. Great work Libby. You really have a talent of drawing your reader in.
Libby,
I loved you story so much!!!!!! ugh, when i read it when we were correcting it, i cried. OMG i love this story. Your a great writter. i just want to read your story over and over and over again.this story really makes me think about if i were to died right know, i would want to say so much.
Yuo were very descpirtive and i loved that. You really drew me into the story. i felt as if i was the heartbroken mother reading the letter.
i thought it was cool how you made you story in letter format. think that really added to the greatest of your story.
my favoite part was"The E.M.T.’s are starting to freak out. I think I’m leaving, and we haven’t even gotten to the hospital yet. Oh well. Death will be a nice release from the excruciating pain I’ve been in for the past, oh I don’t know, eternity. Hold on for me, Mom. I’ve got to go now. I promise I’ll meet you up there. You still have to introduce me to Grandpa Joe." it made me cry so much cause she knew she was dying. ugh it was great. Great story i wouldnt change a thing!!!
Wow, that was incredible, Libby. It really makes you think that maybe all of us don't have all the time in the world. When you were explaining what happened it was as if i was sitting right there in the car with you guys.
I liked how your main character suddenly changed her feelings as soon as she knew she was dying, apologizing for everything. I suppose that's how all humans are.
Personally I didn't have a favorite part, though. Everything was great, but a story about death doesn't exactly express the idea of "favorite". If i had to choose something I'd choose when she was making amends for everything she had done wrong in her letter. The very best quality in your letter was when you were describing everything in the story, clearing painting a picture in our minds of exactly what was going on.
Finally, don't bother changing anything in your writing. I'm aware you have entered contests of these things, so who am I to tell you to improve? Excellent work, Libby.
Wow, this was a really good short story. It explains everything well to me fromthe beggining to end, and has a real nice rising action, falling action, climax, and a nice, long ending. i remembered everything from the story and it was really heart-warming. The story makes me think of how abrupt life could end, and how much you love your family.
The main character does not change during the story, and it is important that they stay the same because the mood stays the same.
The whole story was wonderful, and i loved every part of it.
The tales best quality is how heartwarming it is.
This story does not need any revising.
This was a great story. After I finished reading it, it made me think about thinks the first time and now even more. It was really moving especially when you appologized to your mom for everything that you did or didn't do. I like how when you're writing this you still are aware that you're in an ambulance and you need to interact with the people trying to save your life.
My favorite part was when you described the actual car crash, it was really vivid in my mind and made me think as if I was there. I think the best quality of this story is the writing in general. Everything fit well together and made sense.
There isn't anything that I would change about your piece. It was really good. Great job Libby!
I really enjoyed your story libby. It was very creative and I have never seen or read a story like it. I don't think the main character really changed a lot, but when she was so close to dealth, she said what she had been wanting to say forever, and then was the chance to do so. My favorite quote was," I think I’m leaving, and we haven’t even gotten to the hospital yet. Oh well. Death will be a nice release from the excruciating pain I’ve been in for the past, oh I don’t know, eternity. Hold on for me, Mom. I’ve got to go now. I promise I’ll meet you up there. You still have to introduce me to Grandpa Joe." It was so realistic and made me feel like a part of her going to heaven. Overall it was a great story, and I really liked it!
My original reaction to the story, after reading the first few lines, was similar to the others who commented. Shock, sadness, etc. It forced me to think about the concept of death and what i would do in the characters position. I liked how, as one reads on, more and more of what actually happened is revealed. i paint a good picture of the situation.
The main character does not change. She keeps the same view on things throughout. This is essential to making the story sad, because one of the saddest aspects is her bravery, which, if it were to waver, would lessen the experience. My favorite part of the story was the exposition. It set the mood and the rest of the story built on that.
I think the line "Bye, Mom." sums up the entire story.
I think the best aspect of the story was the overall theme/ concept. It's gripping and deep. Without lines like " I obviously wouldn’t need to write this letter if I thought I was going to live through this ordeal.", it wouldn't be nearly as heart wrenching.
I have few suggestion on how to improve this story your writing style for future stories. Even things that would not fit into other stories, such as repetitive sentences, only build the mood of this story. If i had to suggest something, i would say to make the climax longer, although i can see the reason for having it shorter; it is quick to end, like life.
Libby,
You are a great writer. My favorite part of the whole story was actually the whole thing. I think it was very unique, and I know that I would have never thought about writing an entry like that. I felt bad, for the mother who has to read this. One thing I can clearly remember about this story is when you said donate all of my things to all of those different charities. I think that’s really sweet to do.
I think the girl who was dying was a strong person. I can’t imagine writing to my mother while I was pretty much on my death table. That I think takes a lot of courage. If she didn’t write this letter, then I don’t really see any point to this story.
“I’m sorry that I never talked to you when you asked me what was wrong. I’m sorry I never introduced you to any of the boys I dated. I’m sorry that I didn’t do what you told me to do the first time. I’m sorry I stopped caring about what you and everyone else thought of me. I’m sorry I didn’t take what I was given and was thankful for it. I never thought I would have to say these things, but I also thought I would outlive you. I’m sorry that I fought with Aiden so much. I’m sorry that I could never be as tolerant as you when it came to other people who couldn’t do as much as Aimie and I could. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be everything you wanted, and needed, me to be.” That was my favorite paragraph because she was apologizing for everything she did that was wrong. Awesome job by the way!
Libby M- Wow, freaky stuff I just read Libby. I never knew that someone could put done such deep feelings on paper, but you have learned to do it masterfully. I strongly believe that this could be put into a movie with just a few changes here and their. Of course it would have to be PG13 and it would have some gore in it. I think that you are a little to mean to the EMT’s because when they tell you that you are going to be fine most people would have a little bit more hope and that could be the difference between a life and death situation. I like how the way the piece was written in letter form and that you are only talking to your mother and not an entire audience. Keep up the good work.
Libby,
Your story was wonderful.It really made me think about things I might need to say to people if it was my last day on earth. It reminded me of some movies I've seen in the past.
I really like how the story was written as a letter. I don't think the story would have been as effective if you wrote it any other way.
My favorite part of the story was the ending because when you read it, you feel sympathy for the mom, and the main character.
I have no suggestions for your writing great job.
libby, your story was awesome. it was a really personal and very deep. it really makes me think about things that could happen.
i really enjoyed how you wrote the story. it was great that it was a letter and it really worked better into the topic.
my favorite part of the story was when you were describing the accident and when the character went into the ambluance because it was really describtive and kept me guessing.
i thought the best quality of the story is that it is really personal and it gives the whole so much more meaning. i cant give u any advice because it was just so well wrote. great job!
Libby,
I LOVED your story. It was really personal, and I liked how you wrote it in letterform. You made me think about how life can end so quickly.your charater didn’t need to change because it was happening over a short amount of time, which caused the narrators personality traits to shine. “You know that Dad and I went to see that movie in Springfield. Oh, by the way, it was really good. You need to MAKE Aimie and Mat see it.” this was my favorite part because you made it very realistic. The strength of the story is the way it was written, with lots of detail and your own personality. I would change anything, it is perfect the way it is.
Libby, your story was kind of depressing. I thought it was really deep and it was very good. It made me think about what i would say while i was dying. I didnt cry like casey but it was a sad story. I thought it was cool how you wrote it as a letter. It was different from anything else i have read. You also had great description anf it was very well written. great job.
Libby!
Your story was amazing! It was deep and extremely well written. It was kinda depressing though. I liked how it was in letter form too. I also liked how everything you wrote about was based on places around here and people in your family. I think my favorite part was the end. It was so sad and my favorite line was "Hold on for me, Mom. I’ve got to go now. I promise I’ll meet you up there. You still have to introduce me to Grandpa Joe." Your story was so descriptive I really wanted to cry.
As far as advice, screw that, your story was great!!
Libby-
Great Story. It was really deep and it made me tihkn of death and a lot of other things. You used great detail and I liked how it was a letter because it made the story more intersting. You described everything really well and I felt like I was with you throughout the whole story. Your stroy was really impressive and it was incredible to read.
wow!! Libby your story was fanominal. it had excellent description! it made me thik about my death and my mother. lately i havent been opening up to my mom. and what if i died recently and didntleave a letter? that would suck a lot. i dont think the main charcter had changed really. unless you consider fromliving to dieing being a change. i guess you could say it is.
My favortie part was when the main character was telling her mom whatto do with all of her stuff. it was myfavrite part because ithoug it was funny. it was also cute how she wanted her to give her stuff animals to cancer kids. i think the stories best quality was how realistic it was. it was depressing and sad but at the same time excellent! there absoultyely nothing i could think of for youto change! fantastic job Libby!
wow libby that was really good and deep. it made me think about things too. like what would i want to say to my mom if i died before her. it made me feel sad all of s sudden. very touching.
i could see that the character was kind of ok with herself dying, and she knew she was going to die. so that shows that she is strong.
my favorite part would be the accident because it had a lot of description. it made me wnat to read more. and i liked how you put it in a letter form it sounded great.
i think the best quality was how personal you made it. it seemed you were actually going to die. i don't think i could give you any advice cause your story is just awesome. good job.
Libby, I thought that your story was wicked good. The image I remember most was when the girl in the story was describing what had happened in the car crash. It reminded me of a 7th Heaven episode I saw a while ago, where Lucy's best friend gets killed in a car crash.
I don't think that the main character changed at all over the course of the story. Now that she is dead, I think that its good that they didn't change. The main character kind of knew all of life's little secrets, and I think that kept him/her interesting.
My favorite part of the story was when the main character was apoligizing for everything that she possibly could apologize for. I thought that was really sweet. My favorite line in the story is, "Hold on for me, Mom. I’ve got to go now. I promise I’ll meet you up there. You still have to introduce me to Grandpa Joe." It really makes me think that the main character wasn't afraid to die, and instead that she embraced it.
Overall, I think that the story's best quality is that its written as a letter. I think that it adds to the theme of the story, and all of the emotions that I (and the mom) is feeling.
One thing that I would change about the story is to add a little more detail. I would've like to see a little more of what was going on the night that the main character was killed. Other than that, this story was amazing and I'm glad that I got a chance to read it.
Libby,
Your story was amazing. After reading it I felt sad and happy at the same time. At parts it was funny, but it was sad. I remember how you described the car crash. I can see it in my head. What the story made me think about was a movie that I have watched.
The main character doesn't change. Why it was important that he or she remain static throughout the tale is that she is just dying, but her personality has to stay the same to show what she is saying in her will/last letter. This is the way that the story arc was dependent on the main character's persoanlity and story arc.
My favorite part of the story was when you explained what you wanted your mother to do with your stuff. I think you put a lot of thought into that. This story written in first person. My favorite part occured in the rising action. A line that I like was, " You know that Dad and I went to see that movie in Springfield. Oh, by the way, it was really good. You need to MAKE Aimie and Mat see it." What this stands for is that she wants life to go on, even though her's won't.
This tale's best quality is the theme. I really like it. A line that goes with this is the same line that I used in the paragraph above, and the fact that life will go on.
I don't have any advice. I do think that a lot of people would be depressed if this really did happen and would not be as calm as you were hoping them to be. Great job!
Yo Libster, I thought this story was fantastic. I also did not cry like Casey did, but I can see how she did. The image i saw on the story was the cremation with the band jacket. The main character does not change from beginning to end, basically because she is dying and saying her final wishes to her mother. My favorite part of the story was when she described where her belongings would go. I liked this because it really showed what type of person she was. I think the best quality of the story was how it really got to you, it made you think about what you have and to appreciate it. Nice job Libby.
Wow Libby,
that's about all I can say. You have a talent for writing. Once I read your title I had to keep writing. My favorite thing about the essay was how the person dying wrote a letter to their mother. It was like she or he had accepted the fact that they were leaving, and they should tell their mom some things before they go. It was really sad, I think that if I was dying I would want to write a letter to my mom too, to let her know I was sorry for the things I had done wrong and tell her how much I loved her. So... I'm not really answering any of the questions I'm suppose to be, but that's becuase your story was just so good, and I liked every single word and sentence in the whole thing. I have absolutely no suggestions for you, accept maybe you should get this published! :)
I agree with your friends, this would make a great published short story! There isnt anything really to change about it. The letter form was a wonderful way to present a very tough topic to talk about--death. I feel for the mother of the girl. Drunk drivers are everywhere and so many die because of them.
I didnt have a favorite part of the story because I loved it all!
Maybe you should write for the Spotlight? You really have a GIFT!
LIbby your story was fantastic! I read it all non stop. I wouldn't make any changes at all. It made me think of what I'd do in a situation like that. I'd be so scared I wouldn't know what to do actually!
My favorite part of the story was how the main character thought of what she could do, during such a situation. There were no mistakes that I noticed. You did a great job!
Oh god Libby.
You are an amazing writer. Absolutely amazing. I loved the letter format and I think that made it harder for me to read because I kept thinking about what it would be like to have to write a letter like that to my own mom. I think your character changed somewhat from the beginning because she had to really figure out what her life meant and what she wished she could have done better. I didn't really have a favorite part because I loved the entire thing and I wouldn't change a thing because it is so well written. Great job Libby.
Libby, oh my gosh i absolutely loved this story. I almost cried. I realy liked how you put it in letter for and it made me think about my poppy and what it must have been like for him to die. It also made me think about what I would have to say if i died.
I do not really think the main character changes throughout the story.
My favorite part was when she got to the end and said, "I think I’m leaving, and we haven’t even gotten to the hospital yet. Oh well. Death will be a nice release from the excruciating pain I’ve been in for the past, oh I don’t know, eternity. Hold on for me, Mom. I’ve got to go now. I promise I’ll meet you up there. You still have to introduce me to Grandpa Joe. Bye, Mom." This part really touched me. It also seemed effortless for you to write this. You should diffidently become a writer someday. I think you best quality was everything the entire story was great. ONe thing i would say you should work on is spelling and stuff some words were incorrect. You should publish this. Fantastic job.
That was a great story Libby but it was really sad. I thought it was really creative the way you put it into a letter. I don't think the main character changed at all throughout the story. I think the best thing is how much effort you put into the story. It was really good. I think it should be published.
Libby,
That short story was amazing. There was so much feeling and emotion in it. The format of the story was really different from everyone else's and i thought that it made it really stand out in a good way. I really liked the format as a letter rather than a story. Your story had so much description. All the description of the crash and what you want your mom to do with all your stuff kept me on the edge of my seat reading it. My favorite part of your story was "I’m sorry that I never talked to you when you asked me what was wrong. I’m sorry I never introduced you to any of the boys I dated. I’m sorry that I didn’t do what you told me to do the first time. I’m sorry I stopped caring about what you and everyone else thought of me. I’m sorry I didn’t take what I was given and was thankful for it. I never thought I would have to say these things, but I also thought I would outlive you. I’m sorry that I fought with Aiden so much. I’m sorry that I could never be as tolerant as you when it came to other people who couldn’t do as much as Aimie and I could. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be everything you wanted, and needed, me to be. Tell Mat and any other nephews or nieces I get that I’m sorry I wasn’t around long enough to talk with them and teach them the random stuff I think everyone should know. Make sure they all learn to read fast. Get them Harry Potter and I’m sure any of the girl’s that Aimie is going to have would love some Tamora Pierce. Tell Joe that I’m sorry we never really had a relationship. There were times I really wish he had been there for me and it took everything I had to keep it together, but I still think he is the coolest brother a kid could ever have. You already know what I want you to tell Heather. The E.M.T.’s are starting to freak out. I think I’m leaving, and we haven’t even gotten to the hospital yet. Oh well. Death will be a nice release from the excruciating pain I’ve been in for the past, oh I don’t know, eternity. Hold on for me, Mom. I’ve got to go now. I promise I’ll meet you up there. You still have to introduce me to Grandpa Joe. Bye, Mom." I really liked this because you are sort of confessing to things that you didn't tell your mom before like your sorry you didn't do things the first time that your mom asked. At the end i started to tear up a little. This is one of the best stories that i've read so far. really good job libby!!
Hey Libby this was a good story. It makes me want to make sure to say some stuff before my friends die. The story had good description of the crash. Everything else was pretty good.
Hey Libby! WOW! Thats all I tink that can be said, WOW, again! I thought your short story was the best on I've read! Your talented. I love to write, and I can tell you do too. The whole story was amazing, its so sad. But it really made me think. What will I say when I die? Your story makes me want to stop and want to write the letter, my goodbye letter, to my family right now!
It was hard to pick a favorite quote but I chose, "Hold on for me, Mom. I’ve got to go now. I promise I’ll meet you up there. You still have to introduce me to Grandpa Joe." This is SO powerful!! It must have taken a lot to write something this personal or maybe it comes easy to you, it touched me deeply Libby. You are a GREAT writer, please keep sharing your writing with the rest of the world! There is nothing you should fix! Amazingly done, great job Libby!
Ok Libby,
This was one hell of a story. I am not going to say wow, because enough people already said that. I don't have to tell you that your story is good, because just by how many comments there were says it already. My personal reaction to this story was, man this girl can write. You wrote what everybody is always thinking, what am I going to do right before I die.
Your stories best quality I think is how you can still make some pretty funny comments in this kind of a story. For example, "You know that Dad and I went to see that movie in Springfield. Oh, by the way, it was really good. You need to MAKE Aimie and Mat see it." It is one happy moment in this sad moment. My only advice to you is to publish this work, and to keep writing. Thank you for writing this piece, it made me think a lot differently about things.
Libby I absolutly loved your story. I thought that i was amazing and i at one point when she was saying how sorry she was for everything that she did and didn't do i almost cried. I thought your story was just amazing. I had so much detail, expecially when you were describing the accident and what had happened.
One thing I would want to know is where this letter was written I was kinda wondering throuhout the whole story. I thought it was still amazing though.
Libby, astonishing story. Definately the best ive read in a while. It was really emotional and moving, a great story. By the way, you've got 35 comments...36 now.
Awesome.
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