As she looked out the window all she could see where the clouds. The plane ride was much longer than she expected. Right when she was about to close her eyes, the pilot came over the loud speaker, “Sorry for the interruption, we will arrive in Germany in approximately 20 minutes.” Rebecca turned to the blonde haired woman next to her.
“Is this your first time visiting Germany?”
“Actually, it’s my second time; I went here when I was younger and loved it, I have wanted to go back ever since and here I am now.” “Oh and by the way, my name is Daisy.”
“Yes I saw it on your name tag around your neck, my name is Rebecca; this is actually my first time coming here. My grandmother past away recently and she was originally from here. She used to tell me all these interesting stories about Germany; I have always wanted to come.”
“It is quite the place, said Daisy, there’s always something to do.”
“Oh yes I have heard that a lot,” replied Rebecca.
“Where were you born?” asked Daisy.
“I live in Holyoke Massachusetts with my parents, where are you from?” asked Rebecca.
“Well actually I lived in New York with my father and step-mother, but they recently sent me to live in England with my aunt and four cousins. I was just getting back, when my father surprised me with this trip.” Right when Rebecca was about to speak the pilot came onto the loud speaker.
“Good Afternoon passengers aboard # 23145, we are arriving in Germany, please remain in your seats until further assistance.”
“Well I guess this is it, hopefully ill run into you when were here, it would be lots of fun to see you again.” said Rebecca.
“Most definitely, it was nice meeting you.” responded Daisy.
When the pilot finally gave the instructions to exit the plane, Rebecca wasted no time. She got her luggage and headed outside for a taxi. First she decided to head to her hotel, check in, and then head into downtown Germany. As for Daisy, she’s already saw all the beautiful sights and wanted to catch up on some much need sleep. She went outside to her rental car awaiting her, and drove to her hotel.
It was around 9am the next morning when Rebecca finally rolled out of bed. After a late night of sight seeing she was exhausted. She took a shower, got dressed, and then again headed to downtown to get breakfast. As for Daisy who slept practically all night got up bright n early to head into town. After hearing plenty of recommendations on “Rose’s Café” being the best place for breakfast Rebecca headed to the counter of the restaurant to order a bagel and coffee. Right when she was about to pay she felt a tap on her shoulder.
“Who would have thought we would have met the next morning?” said Daisy
“Hey Daisy!” replied Rebecca. I just woke up and everyone at the hotel had been telling me to check out this place.
“Well they are right, it’s my favorite place!” said Daisy.
Rebecca finished ordering her breakfast and sat next to Daisy at the table for two.
“What did you end up doing last night?”
“Actually I came back to town and had dinner, then just went sightseeing as some would say.” said Rebecca.
They finished there coffee and bagels and headed outside. It wasn’t the nicest day; it was very overcast and looked as if it was going to rain.
“I feel so sorry” said Daisy. I would love to walk around with you and show you everything there is to see but I have an appointment with a gentleman, I thinking of moving out here.
“Oh don’t worry about it” yawned Rebecca. I was going to head back and take a nap myself. I am still pretty beat from the plane ride and last night.
“Well if I don’t see you before you leave you have a wonderful rest of your trip.” said Daisy.
“Thanks you too!” replied Rebecca.
Rebecca headed back to her hotel, while Daisy headed to the appointment she had at 12. Daisy and Rebecca never saw each other again before they left. A week later when Rebecca arrived in Holyoke she was so excited to tell her parents and two sisters everything that happened. As for Daisy she ended up coming home one last time before moving to Germany
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Our Trip to Germany by Emily A
5:30 PM
Mr. B-G
1 comments:
I really enjoyed reading your story about How I Live Now and Briar Rose. I definitley like the way that the dialogue between the two characters flowed. I didn't read How I Live Now, but i remember things you mentioned about Briar Rose such as the stories her Gemma told her about Germany. While reading this story, i could really picture them talking to each other on the plane. The story made me think about what it would be like to fly to Germany all by myself. I felt that it was good that Daisy and Rebecca met on the plane since they were both by themselves.
The conversation between the two characters seemed authentic. Being on the plane talking about Germany made Daisy and Rebecca seem real and natural. This is an experience a lot of people have while visiting somewhere far away. I dont think there is much else you could've done to make it seem more real.
My favorite part of the story is when Daisy and Rebecca ran into eachother at Rose's Cafe. This was my favorite part because it was so coincidental that these two girls that only met on a plane ride, ran into each other at a restaurant. “Who would have thought we would have met the next morning?” was my favorite line from the book. This stood out to me because I was thinking the same thing when I had read they saw each other at the cafe.
I didn't find something that was very distracting, but i noticed that in the beginning you wrote "where" instead of "were" One more thing i noticed that you may want to fix is writing out the number twelve instead of putting 12.
Next time, consider adding some more descriptive adjectives and describing the characters physical characteristics and traits. This would make your story even better !
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