8:19 AM
Mr. B-G
Nowadays, every material good has some sort of value. You can’t get anything for free. You also, however, have things that are of no value – they are priceless. What I mean by priceless isn't that it was cheap or you got it for free. Instead, it’s something that you have inside of yourself – for example, a memory, something that you enjoy doing, or a ritual. These are things that are important to you and you could never place a price upon them.
***
The second that I get home I run up the stairs and shake the mouse of my computer to make the black screen turn into a background containing Cinamoroll, one of my favorite Sanrio animations. I first double click the icon containing a yellow, running man – AOL Instant Messenger. The second it finishes loading, I get a message from one of my friends asking me what is up.
Every day I go through this ritual – it’s nothing new. My computer is a way for me to connect with my friends after school and travel across the world with just the click of the mouse. There is so much you can do on a computer – create, connect, or just relax by playing a game.
I believe that I value my computer so much because I was the one who had to pay for it, so I appreciate it a lot more. I worked very hard by being a waitress on the weekends to earn the money to pay the bill off, so it means a lot more to me than it would if I was just given the computer.
When I purchased my computer I had to make sure it was one of the best in the store. I wanted to buy the one with the most memory on it and the fastest hard drive. It even acts as a television! I wanted a computer with this many assets so that I would be able to compact many different things into one small, space-saving machine. I have so many different programs that I needed a computer with that much memory, and I’m happy that I bought the one I did even though I spent so much money on it.
***
My friends and I sit down and adjust the video camera so that we are all in the frame. One of them starts the music and I press the record button. We sing along to the music, dance, and act completely random until I press the stop button. I then upload the video to my computer, and double click the Window’s Movie Maker icon – the place where all the magic happens. I edit the video by speeding up the sound so that we sound like chipmunks, and add some color and lighting effects, and we’re done.
I absolutely love making videos with my friends. Whether we are making our “chipmunk” videos (as we like to call them), telling a story, or just rambling about nonsense, it is always a lot of fun. I usually only make these videos with my friends and that's why they are so special – they save all of our special memories.
Making videos is definitely one of my favorite things to do. It gives me something to do when I’m bored, and also when I want to capture moments with my friends. Any day is a great day to make a video!
***
I truly value both my computer and making videos. In a way, both of these things connect. Without my computer I wouldn’t be able to make my videos because they have to be uploaded to the computer for me to be able to see them. I value my computer because it constantly saves me from boredom, helps me to do my homework, and also is a way to connect with my friends. I value making videos for similar reasons. Making videos also saves me from boredom, and helps me to connect with my friends, but in addition to that I really enjoy making my videos because it helps to capture all the special memories I have with my friends. Both of these things are great, and I’m glad that I have each of them.
8 comments:
I like how you discribe exactly what you do with your computer. I think that saying that you payed for it added to the overall effect. I think that your computer was stronger than your videos because there was more supporting comments for the computer than the videos. I think your introduction was the strongest part of the essay. It really got me thinking about the values of everything. Next time, you might want to consider changing up your word choice to make it more engaging. Overall, I enjoyed reading your essay.
I liked how you discribed making videos because it really shows that it is pricless to you and that you care about it a lot. When you said that you payed for the computer with money that you earned it gave an effect that it really was valueable to you. I think that the strongest part of your essay was the conclusion because it summed up what your whole essay was about well. I think that next time you might consider adding more discription to the first thing that you discribed. I really enjoyed your essay. I think that it was very well written.
I think that it is great that you value both your computer and making movies with your friends. You appear to be saying that you enjoy having lots of fun with your friends, which I can relate to. You also mention that one of the reasons you value your computer is because you had to pay for it yourself. I thought that, of your two values, the description of why you value your computer was the most vivid. I liked the anecdote that you shared with us of what you do when you get home from school. It made me know exactly what you feel when you come home.
In general, I feel that one of your essays overall strengths is organization. While I think that you could've gone into a bit more detail, the detail that you did provide was really good, and really well written. Even though your essay flowed very well, for next time, try making your essay flow a little bit more. I felt that it was a little bit choppy. Overall your essay was very well written and i was pleased that I got a chance to read it.
Dear Lindseyyyy,
Haha. I don't know what to say. Your story is so cute, and completely you. I've seen those "chipmunk" videos and they crack me up!From having your valued price thing be your computer, to your priceless videos it's all good. I believe that your story though might have been a little blurry on the difference between both? Or maybe that's just me.. i don't know haha.
Your deffinit strong point was your writing style. I can totally tell it's you, and that's what i love most about this story. Something i would say you may need to work on is maybe a tad more word choice [but thats just a MAYBE :] ] Other then that really keep it up. It seems as though your a really in detail writer.
Hey Linsey :)
I liked how you compared your computer and your camera in this essay. It all worked really well together and I like how you explained and compared what each item means to you. I thought you did an amazing job explaining your computer. I do the same thing when I get home! Your explained how you can connect to the world, freinds and get help on homework good, and I like how you explained that you bought and worked hard for it.
I think your essay had intresting and specific examples that were relevant to the topic and not comppletely random. The beginning also drew me in, and the closing was good at summing it all together. The only advice I would suggest is describing your second object more or a better word choice. Otherwise, keep it upppp! :)
Lindsey :]
This essay was really great. It was descriptive and I liked how it revolved around your friends in some way. I can relate to this entirely because I am a computer freak. I am on it almost 24/7 and I always am talking to my friends on AIM. The other way I can relate to this essay is that I love to make random videos with my friends. It's so much fun, right? Anyways, The description was really detailed and I love your title. Great Job!
Lindsey!! I really liked your essay!! Your introduction was amazing!! It grabbed my attention and made me want to read the rest. I like how you described the importance of your comupter and how it means a lot because you had to buy it with hard-earned money. I also like the way you decsribed your videos with your friends. It sounds like a lot of fun. I think you could add more descriptive words to those two paragraphs, though. I like how you compared the two things. Your title is very original. Good work!!
Lindsey!
All I can say is that you are amazing. Your essay was great! I think the strongest part of the essay was your introductory paragraph. You really got my attention and pulled me into the story without over explaining everything. You strongest paragraph was about your computer. I could tell that you really value your computer because it allows you to do things and talk with you friends, your priceless “object”. For your next essay, all I can say is to keep up the great work :].
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