Friday, October 12, 2007

Straightening up my Values by Emma H.

When there’s always something better, what do you value the most? Which do you enjoy more, the item with the bigger price tag, or the item with the greater meaning? Today people are always focused on the latest trends, hottest clothes, and newest gadgets, but do they pay enough attention to the moments that count?

***

I wake up to the annoying “beep…beep…beep,” of my alarm clock like a usual school morning. As I roll out of bed I slam down on the off button, and continue on to my morning routine. As I apply my makeup, my eyes wander to the red glow of one of my favorite possessions, my CHI hair straightener. Of course, straight hair is very “in,” and pretty much every girl straightens her hair, so who would I be to be an exception to all those girls?

I can still remember the Christmas I received my hair staightener. I had been asking for one for a couple months, but kept hearing the same answer. “You’ll ruin your beautiful hair!” my mom would constantly tell me. She just didn’t understand how important hair could be. So on Christmas morning when I got my hair straightener, I was pleasantly surprised. I jumped up and down “Thank you! Thank you!” I said to my parents, and quickly went to go straighten my locks.

With up to 400 degrees, it straightens my hair to perfection every time. Made with ceramic plates, and around $100.00, it is used at many professional salons. So with my hottest hair accessory, quite literally, I can feel great about my hair.

***

“Sit up tall, and stretch down into your heels,” My trainer Joy coached me, and my very first jumper show. “Even though your goal is to get the fastest time,” She told me, “You still need to ride smart.” I entered the arena my stomach like a roller coaster, as the whistle blew, I tightened my calf, and took off at a canter. We approached the first jump, filled with trees and plants, very spooky to a pony, but we managed to make it over the frightening obstacle. We finished the course with a clear round, my face was glowing with pride. Winning 3rd place, I felt that my pony Rhumpy and I made a pretty good team.


Riding is my passion, and most defiantly my forte. Without it, I don’t know what I would do. For me, riding is my relaxation, if I’m riding, then I’m not thinking about anything else. All my worries just float away, and all I focus on is my horse.

I have been riding for at least 5 years, and I’ve been crazy about it ever since. Even though it is quite an expensive sport, it’s mainly where I have those “priceless moments.”

Competing in shows, and riding in general, gives me a rush that nothing else could even compare to.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Emma
I really like your essay, it is awesome. I guess you seem to be saying that you really value your hair straightener, and riding horses. But if you had to choose one, it would definitely be riding horses. I think the riding horses part was really vivid and descriptive. I especially like the part where you say "I entered the arena my stomach like a roller coaster."
I definitely think the strength of this essay was the writing style. How you described a scene involving the hair straightener and horse, and then explained why it was important to you. Next time though, I think you should compare or contrast how you value these things differently. It was an amazing essay, I love it!

Anonymous said...

Emma H,
I enjoyed your opening to your second paragraph. I agree that hair is important and almost everyone straightens their hair. Hair straighteners don’t ruin your hair too much.

The opening to your priceless moments was good as well. It made you want to read more because you didn’t state what you were talking about right away. Your ending certainly needs to be longer and you forgot to put the ***. Other than that, I’d say it’s really good. Also, good job in the play on Friday.

Anonymous said...

Emma,
i really enjoyed your essay. i found out sometihng new about you, you love to ride, and its the thing you value the most. i loved your opening the your horse paragraph. it was well written. Your essay was overall very good. i loved your wide range of word chocie and all your descriptions, the made the reader get into the essay more. you essay was very goodand i enjoyed reading it,but next time maybe you could make your ending a little stronger to make more of an impact on the reader. but i loved your essay and i cant wait to read your others in the furture im sure they well be just as good as this one.

Anonymous said...

Emma,
I thought that your essay was very well written. You did a really great job describing your chi straightener, but i think that next time you should add a little more detail to your second object, horses. Great job using a wide vocabulary range, and also, I like how you go back and forth through time. Like how you were describing your morning routine and then went back to describe when you got your straightener. Awesome job (:

Anonymous said...

Hey emma!
Your essay was amazing! You can really tell that you value horse back riding and you chi hair straightener, but in different ways. You went into a great amount of detail on your chi, so next time i would add a little more detail on your horse back riding. your use of vocab was really good as well.

Your strenght in your essay would deffently be how you wrote it. Your vocab and detail make the reader really undersatnd your values. Nice closing pragrpah!
Good Job!

Anonymous said...

Hey Emma!
Your essay was really good! I really liked the story about Cristmas and your mom. Your story about your horse show makes me want to go see one myself. I can tell riding is your passion. I can also see that You love your hair straightener. Yo used really good detail in describing when you got your straightener. One thing you might consider is telling more about your horse show. Other than that great job Emma!

Anonymous said...

Emma,
I, quite frankly, really enjoyed hearing about what values you the most. I like how the two values you chose, were completely different, but had the same meaning to you. I really liked the description of how horse back riding makes you feel. It was very deep.
I enjoyed hearing about your word choice and your writing style. Everything about your essay was great. Your items were very important to you and had totally different meanings. The only thing I suggest is that you should read your essay out loud to catch any mistakes. NICE WORK EMM!

Anonymous said...

Emma,
I really enjoyed reading your essay. I thought that you did a great job talking about why you value your straightener and riding horses. I think that you described riding the horses. I think though that the strength in your essay was deffinatly the wayt you wrote it. Maybe you could have added a little more comparing and contrasting, like telling what the difference in the value to you is. I think that you did a great job.

Anonymous said...

Emma,

Your eassay was wicked good! You used good description and showed how much you love your hair straightener and riding horses. you used so much detail. I think that the strongest part of your essay was the opening and the closing. It was really good! :-)

Twitter Delicious Facebook Digg Stumbleupon Favorites More