During life, we all have to face challenges and overcome obstacles, it’s unavoidable and it’s vital in everybody’s life. On his 85th voyage without a catch, Santiago was pushed to his overall limit. Three struggles the old man had to overcome were shark battles, his age, and being unprepared.
Some of the most intense parts of the story were the shark battles. Hemingway described some to be very big, only showing how much harder Santiago would have to fight. “And he was the biggest dentuso that I have ever seen. And God knows I have seen big ones” (103). Santiago had to fend off sharks a couple time through the story, whether it be single sharks or sharks in greater numbers, but he didn’t let anything stop him. “The old man drove the knife into the juncture, withdrew it, and drove it into the shark’s yellow cat-like eyes. The shark let go of the fish and slid down, swallowing what he had taken as he died” (108). Santiago really proved determination to save his catch here.
Throughout this story, Santiago struggled with his age and was pushed to his physical extent. He is weak, battling against fatigue, and sleep deprivation. Catching the marlin was even harder with all of this holding him back. “I wish I could show him what sort of man I am. But then he would see the cramped hand” (64). This quote really showed how much his hand was affecting his capability on reeling in the marlin. A hand cramp was not about to stop Santiago from accomplishing his dream though. He worked around it by catching something to eat and massaging it. I feel that if Santiago didn’t have as much determination and ambition as he did, he never would of returned back home.
Being unprepared was another task Santiago struggled to overcome. Even though this was his 85th trip without a catch, he still managed to forget vital things he needed, which surprised me seeing Hemingway described him as an experienced fisherman. “You should have brought many things, he thought. But you did not bring them, old man” (110). Santiago forgot a stone to sharpen his knife, limes and salt to make his food more appetizing, and the boy. Out of all of these things he forgot, the boy, Manolin, was the most important. He could have kept the old man company and help him reel in the marlin faster. But the old man realized he had to work with what he had, not with what he didn’t, to catch the marlin and to ultimately survive.
Santiago is one of the most ambitious people I know. I’ve never heard of any old man in his 80’s going far out to see to catch a 1,500 pound fish. Never did Santiago ever let his battles with sharks put him down, his age tire him out, or being unprepared hold him back. He worked with what he had and to his physical limits to catch the marlin. Even though he came back with bones, Santiago is a winner in my eyes.
11:59 AM
Mr. B-G
8 comments:
Kaitlyn!
Great job on the OMS essay! You had a great thesis statement. It listed all three points you would be talking about in the essay and it was a great introduction to the rest of your essay. I loved your quote about Santiago killing the shark. “The old man drove the knife into the juncture, withdrew it, and drove it into the shark’s yellow cat-like eyes. The shark let go of the fish and slid down, swallowing what he had taken as he died” It is such a good quote and I liked your placement. One of your greatest strengths is, as always, word choice and voice. From my point of view, you had a wide range with your vocabulary and I enjoyed reading your essay since it was so you! I don’t really have any suggestions, so, great job! :]]
Good job on you essay Kaitlyn! Your thesis statement was very clear. It was focused, and easlily identifiable from the rest of the introduction paragraph. I could tell what the essay was going to be talking about just by reading it. My favorite quote was “The old man drove the knife into the juncture, withdrew it, and drove it into the shark’s yellow cat-like eyes. The shark let go of the fish and slid down, swallowing what he had taken as he died.” On top of this being a good quote to begin with, you incorporated it well into the paragraph. This way, it supported what you were getting at even better. One thing that you did well throughout your essay, was providing evidence. I felt like there was no possible way that I could dispute anything that you were saying. One thing that you could improve in your essay is just that there were a few grammatical errors here and there. Other than that, your essay was amazing!
The thesis is not too clear, because it is kind of the whole paragraph. The first sentence states the general idea of obstacles, but the last sentence shows exactly what those obstacles are.
The best example is probably the second supporting paragraph because it shows the point clearly and describes how it is reflected in the story. The essay is good with showing how strong the points are and emphasizing each one, like this: “This quote really showed how much his hand was affecting his capability on reeling in the marlin.” My advice is to try to stay on topic a little more, and try to connect the introduction and the conclusion paragraphs better. Otherwise, great job =)
Kaitlyn, i loved your essay! your thesis was very clear and consice. It included all of the three topics you talked about in your essay. I liked the quote talking about Santiago killing the shark. It supported your argument 100 percent. You made it fit well into the paragraph and explained it thoroughly.
Your best trait was detail. You explained everything well. I didn't have anything to add after you were done explining it.
i think next time you could focus a little more on grammar. I did find a couple of mistakes. Other then that, it was a great essay!!!
Great job on your essay Kaitlyn!
The thesis was very well put and was very clear and concise. It listed the there obstacles that Santiago had to face.
I really like the quote, “The old man drove the knife into the juncture, withdrew it, and drove it into the shark’s yellow cat-like eyes. The shark let go of the fish and slid down, swallowing what he had taken as he died” because you incorporated it very nicely and it had the most detail.
I think you had really good word choice throught the essay. I could deffinately hear you talking while I was reading it!
I don't think I have any suggestions for you. Nice job!
Hey Kaitlyn Brillant job on your essay. It was a great opening paragraph, and the thesis statement was prefectly clear of what you were trying to explain. I would have to say that your best quotation would be, “The old man drove the knife into the juncture, withdrew it, and drove it into the shark’s yellow cat-like eyes. The shark let go of the fish and slid down, swallowing what he had taken as he died” (108). I thought this was great because it showed that the old man was tough, and he really had to fight for this fish and it was not easy. I think the best part of this essay was the conclusion. He summed everything up in a nice simple way. "Santiago ever let his battles with sharks put him down, his age tire him out, or being unprepared hold him back." My only advice to you would maybe be... to... I guess I can't find anything. Great job do not change one thing.
Kaitlyn, I really liked your essay. Your thesis statement was very strong and was easy to understand. I really liked the quote “The old man drove the knife into the juncture, withdrew it, and drove it into the shark’s yellow cat-like eyes. The shark let go of the fish and slid down, swallowing what he had taken as he died”. This is because it shows a lot of detail and description. I also think it flows smoothly with your writing and clearly shows one of your main points. One thing I think you did very well on your essay was the extensive vocabulary you used. I thought that this made your writing a lot more interesting to read. I don't think you need to change anything about your essay, I liked it the way it was.
Kaitlyn,
You did a really good job on this. I thought your thesis was clear that it was about the obstacles that Santiago has to overcome throughout the story. I liked your beginning paragraph because you related his challenges to everyday people. “And he was the biggest dentuso that I have ever seen. And God knows I have seen big ones” (103). This was my favorite quote because it is a great example of what he faces. He has to beat the sharks away from his marlin with minimal things to use as a weapon. What I liked the most in your essay was your conclusion. "Even though he came back with bones, Santiago is a winner in my eyes." I thought that you ended your paper with a great line. The only thing that I would suggest is to check over your grammar mistakes. Amazing Job!
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